it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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