I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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