This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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