I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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