yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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