after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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