well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
