Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
