i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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