Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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