i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
