The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
