I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
