Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
