how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
