fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
