I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm like, not good at living.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
