so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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