i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
