just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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