Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Text me some of your sweat
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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