hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
