But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
