belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
