he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
