Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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  (210): It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently http://tfl.nu/9vg5
  Replies (23) Good night (2637) Bad night (885)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.

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  (516): Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door. http://tfl.nu/5od7
  Replies (11) Good night (4484) Bad night (645)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.

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  (405): If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over. http://tfl.nu/i8gt
  Replies (10) Good night (748) Bad night (3719)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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  (336): Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone? http://tfl.nu/bgt3
  Replies (22) Good night (8306) Bad night (796)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks

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  (901): I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks http://tfl.nu/9z2d
  Replies (20) Good night (6087) Bad night (665)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.

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  (610): As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet. http://tfl.nu/swmp
  Replies (18) Good night (10054) Bad night (986)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?

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  (585): So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar? http://tfl.nu/e57l
  Replies (9) Good night (1329) Bad night (671)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.

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  (705): I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it. http://tfl.nu/m045
  Replies (3) Good night (1399) Bad night (656)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.

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  (803): I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver. http://tfl.nu/862b
  Replies (1) Good night (1608) Bad night (635)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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  (720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc
  Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (551)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.

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  (403): You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything. http://tfl.nu/58f8
  Replies (1) Good night (1396) Bad night (437)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color

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  (407): How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color http://tfl.nu/2fci
  Replies (26) Good night (702) Bad night (2185)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang

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  (623): Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang http://tfl.nu/tn14
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"

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  (913): The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual" http://tfl.nu/c1s6
  Replies (1) Good night (849) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.

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  (847): Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly. http://tfl.nu/095f
  Replies (0) Good night (474) Bad night (354)

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