Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E