Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

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  (516): I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank http://tfl.nu/rnlw
  Replies (22) Good night (846) Bad night (2049)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.

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  (513): I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth. (419): I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/rzvc
  Replies (10) Good night (3034) Bad night (683)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

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  (305): he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me. http://tfl.nu/04rv
  Replies (32) Good night (5295) Bad night (1986)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to

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  (704): My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to http://tfl.nu/cyq1
  Replies (13) Good night (4986) Bad night (1188)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"

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  (703): I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila" http://tfl.nu/s09r
  Replies (11) Good night (4833) Bad night (1142)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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  (401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp
  Replies (16) Good night (2408) Bad night (2642)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?

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  (484): Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with? http://tfl.nu/xos6
  Replies (9) Good night (1938) Bad night (710)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.

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  (803): All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8h0t
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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  (612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n
  Replies (2) Good night (1260) Bad night (515)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.

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  (316): You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger. http://tfl.nu/ic08
  Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (1212)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!

  (740): View more from Ohio

  And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes

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  (740): Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed! (740): And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes http://tfl.nu/xgjj
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  I want to change all my life goals to that.

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  (678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (431)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.

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  (407): What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats. http://tfl.nu/w4l0
  Replies (1) Good night (931) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?

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  (908): He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling? http://tfl.nu/dpwn
  Replies (9) Good night (617) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.

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  (760): I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris. http://tfl.nu/t6ww
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (304)

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