It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan