3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
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does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic