he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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