It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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