Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
