I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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