i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My vagina just clenched in fear
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
