Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Already got asked if we're dating
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
