My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
