so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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