the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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