I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
