YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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