Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
