Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
