i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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