You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
