Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize