Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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