Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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