i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
