I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
