Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
