i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
