He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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