Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it because I queefed?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
