Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
