Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
