They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
