He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
