Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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