Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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