Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
