Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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