If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
